My size is what the female beauty has been reduced to these nowadays. Yesterday I found myself waiting to catch a taxi as a man came up to greet me with a Nigerian accent with the words “my size”. With a little discomfort, I replied to his greeting and said “I am not your size neither will you be my size”.

It bothered me that the “hello, how are you?” has now been replaced with “my size”. Gone are the days were women just had to settle with anything and degrade themselves at the sake of embarrassing the man. As the saying goes “saved by the bell”, a call came in while he was trying to gather words as to explain why the term “my size” when he greeted me.

What does “my size” meant to signify? How does a female meant to react when she hears this term? Is it a term that men use nowadays to make themselves feel that they still have an upper hand even in just making simple pure conversations? Is it a lack of confidence that men have when they cannot approach a woman? You know a simple “hi, how are u?, sawubona unjani?, hola fede?” still does the trick in case you didn’t know.

There is no need to put labels and descriptions to dehumanize a lady to have a simple conversation with you. All of these racial and sexual pejoratives are so unnecessary especially if the intention is to get to know someone. Imagine if a woman were to come up & greet a man by the size of his penis? Imagine words like “hey you, with a small penis how is life?”. Of course they would be speculations as to how does she know the size of his penis, being aware that the woman just said the most hurtful, disgusting and insensitive thing to him and instead of embracing her, these speculations would be the main focus that most of the time, works as a defence mechanism to protect male’s ego. According to society, it would be expected and accepted for a man to react this way about that greeting because men must never be ridiculed in any manner to crush their manhood but it should be okay when a man does it to a woman with her body.

When a woman reacts in a manner where she disapproves with it, it becomes a discussion that is shifted to make a woman feel disgusted and humiliated with her body, to make her feel unwanted, to make her feel that she’s undeserving to be proud of how she looks and to make her allow a man to degrade her like this because after all the society always wants to “protect” the man.

There is no need for women to always allow being degraded by men, there’s no need for women and men to always be at loggerheads with one another. We really need to learn to communicate with one another without it being a competition of genders, who is more strong-willed than the other, who is more independent than the other. We were made to coexist with one another, in as much as we tend to agree to disagree with one another, women must have an equal say, an equal opinion, an equal voice as men do, let it not turn into an issue of Women vs Men.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry (Bella Makhubu’s words)